Flaming Tongues Above

Training Part 3
I have pictures posted up now, so if you want to view them they are on my links section on the right, and for your convenience I named the link ¨Pictures¨.

There were many hard things about training. It actually was the theme of my life during this time, but the most difficult part for me was the language. For this I thought I would dedicate a portion to describe the road that I traveled in this area.

Spanish was so important because none of the Latins going through the training spoke English and the training was totally in Spanish. As mentioned before, every English word was five push ups, and for the Indigenous it was the same for their language. I basically had to live the language because it was the only way to function. All the classes were in Spanish. From asking for a bowl of rice to explaining my favorite part of the Bible I had to learn how to express myself. I really had no classes and no formal training of any kind, but they really just threw me into the situation and learned by survival.

So many times I felt like a child and was even viewed as being less intelligent at times because I could not articulate what I wanted to say in their language. At one point we had to read Genesis in Spanish and after seeing what chapter everyone was on most of them were done and I was one of the last. One of the guys made fun of me for being so slow, and I threw my Bible in English at him and told him to read one sentence from Genesis in English and he could not. It took some of them awhile to understand the struggle because they never had to learn a foreign language. But for most of them they were so patient with me and were the greatest teachers and still are.

Even at the beginning I felt like I hit a wall with the language and ever so slowly pushed it forward the whole time. The vicious cycle of it all is that the more I learned the more the native speakers would use more complicated sentences because they assumed I understood more. It was as if I felt that I was never moving. At one point my boss, J told me that I was really struggling in the language. Then he told me that my dictionary was my new novia (girlfriend), named Dixie (after ¨dictionary...still not laughing). I had to have it on me at all times, sleep with it, run with it, do everything with it and if I was caught without it I had to do twenty-five push ups. Then if I said ¨no entiendo¨ (I don´t understand) then I would have to do twenty-five push ups. Another addition to these requirements was that if I could not speak Spanish at the end of training no one would graduate, which gave my Latin brothers the responsibility of teaching me.

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This whole process was such a struggle in so many ways. Because we were living Spanish it affected all areas of my life, from building relationships with the guys, learning all the stories in Spanish, and trying to process all the classes. I got so discouraged at one point that I really challenge God on my calling to this place. I felt as if He really wanted me to do this He would supply all I needed, including being able to speak the language. I cried out to God after many weeks of struggling, and just told Him that if He did not give me the language then maybe I was not called to be a missionary. The next day I was able to roll my r´s, which I had never been able to do. It was like a small gift of confidence as if He was telling me it was not going to be easy but I would get through it. From the point of hitting the rock bottom and just being at the place I knew that I just could not do it, I believe was the turning point and it slowly but surely gave me the ear to hear and the tongue to speak.

The entire journey was so difficult but led to truly beautiful pastures. Some of the amazing things were when I would remember something my boss had told me but not remembering if he had told me in English or Spanish. Many times I would just sit and listen to hours of Spanish being spoken without knowing what was really being said but only picking up things here and there. As time went, however, things became clearer and I was able to understand more. It was like the rising sun revealing all of creation and everything slowly appears with more clarity. So it was with the conversations that I was listening to.

I have grown to appreciate many languages because we would sing songs in Chayahuita, Aguaruna, Spanish, and English. It seemed like a foreshadow of the beauty we will be able to experience in Heaven. Learning the story of the Tower of Babel in Spanish I found ironic and even cursed those people blaming them for my problems. But even though it was a punishment by God, in His goodness, by turning one language into many He made it possible for Him to be praised in so many different ways all beautiful.

I am blessed to say that I am functional in Spanish. In all we learned over thirty stories in Spanish. I probably memorized more of the Bible in Spanish than English. Both of my partners working with me in Bolivia are Latin, and one of them is Quechua, and so all our communication is in Spanish. And now I am learning Quechua through the medium of Spanish. I would never have imagined. Please pray that I can learn this language fast and efficiently and thank you for all your prayers for Spanish because I knew the LORD heard them.

¨Teach me some melodious sonnet sung by Flaming Tongues above.¨

True Bread

Training Part 2
Sorry it takes so long for me to post. I just do not have too many opportunities to sit down and take the time to do this. Forgive the delay and thanks for the patience. Hopefully before the rapture I can post some pictures.

So here the details of my training, basically the makeup of what we did during the training. First of all our training consisted of eleven guys, four girls, and a couple that are now my bosses. it was a diverse group with two Chayahuita, two Aguarunas (indigenous tribes), two Ecuadorians, and four Peruvians. And of course I was the only male Gringo in this training. The whole training was entirely in Spanish. Every word spoken in a language besides Spanish was five push ups. If you can imagine, I did a lot of push ups.

The first phase of the training was all physical. We had a rigorous training of exercises of push ups, sit ups, and running almost every morning. In total I ran one hundred and fifty-two miles and walked one hundred and forty-eight kilometers to practice for Bolivia. In this phase we also constructed houses, using our machetes and axes. They were made only out of wood and leaves for the roofs. While we worked on our houses we stayed in tents. It was in this phase that J (Jeremy, our boss with the tattoos) tried to teach us discipline, responsibility, brotherhood, and overall how to be a missionary. Most of the first month was just getting used to the outdoors, bathing in the river, eating less, and learning to survive in those kinds of circumstances.

The second phase dealt with learning about the church, the history of the church, and how to start in a church in the communities. They put us through what they called, "Virtual Missions." In this they acted out being the indigenous people and put us in situations that tested to see how we would react and what we would do.

The third phase focused on the stories, but in reality we did this from the beginning to the end. The people groups that we work with do not know how to read usually but are usually a very oral culture. So, we memorize the stories of the Bible in their language and teach it to them, from the beginning all the way to the end, so that in this way they can have their own Bible and be able to form their own church that is distinct to their culture. We were given the responsibility to construct the stores and teaching it to the rest of the group. We learned up to Thirty-seven stories telling the story of God's redemption through Jesus Christ.

At the end of the training we were tested on the three stages - the physical, the knowledge about missions and the Bible, and the stories.

During training we also spent time in the communities near our training. We found our "man of peace" at the beginning and this is where we slept and ate and studied their culture. This was kind of our practicum and allowed us to share stories with them. For some of the teams they were able to see churches formed in these small communities. But overall this was a great way to give us some practice and confidence in the future.

As for a normal day we would get up about five, usually a little before and do our workout. After we bathed in the river we fixed breakfast, which we used fire wood and cooking pans. We would then have our classes and during the first stage we spent the day constructing our houses. Even during this time we were responsible for learning the stories. We would eat lunch in the middle of the day which was always the biggest meal. Usually when the sun went down, we would cook dinner and go to bed between six thirty and nine. Not a whole to do in the jungle when it is dark.

The food. Well, we were given an allowance for the week to buy our food from the local market. It rounded out to be about four dollars per person per week. The food usually consisted of watery oatmeal used as a drink, rice, beans, potatoes and the famous pancakes (more like a tortilla made from flour, water, and a lot of sugar. We ate this almost every meal, which probably took a few years off my life)Some of the guys made traps and we (I use "we" very lightly) killed a few rats and an anuje (giant rat) and yes, we ate it. We did not have a whole lot of meat so anything like that we thoroughly enjoyed. We also ate turtle, rabbit, guinea pig, and cooked and raw worms. This might sound intense but to be honest after the first week I was satisfied to have my rice and beans. I never realized how much I idolized food until I was put in this situation but I learned, with all aspects as well, that it is amazing how when taken all my comforts away I can really start to be content with my lot, that in all things I have joy because if nothing else the Lord is my Bread.

Maybe some of you who are reading this think you could not do something like this but after my experience I know that to be untrue. I believe man was made for the wild, for the outdoors. It is in his blood. Sure the heat, the bugs, the rain can be irritating but only in the end it makes you appreciate more and builds more character. I can honestly say there is no peace like one can feel out in nature. It definitely was a struggle throughout, if only after battling spiritual struggles and language struggles you have to deal with nature. For me, the peace that I felt, I know that God carried me all the way for which I am so thankful and could not have done any of it without His Grace. I guess, in the end one only has to be willing and God takes care of the rest.

A Return to Dust

Training Part 1

I am finally out of training. I hope in the next week or so I can post all about my time in the jungle learning how to be a missionary, but as I know it is hard to read one incredibly long post, I will break it up into different posts depending on the subject. Hopefully add more pictures later as well.

The first thing I will share is an experience that I shared earlier that my boss posted on the Facebook Group site, Xtremers. It was probably one of the most if not the most important lesson I ever learned:

This is my testimony, but in reality it is more of a confession. I am here in the jungle with nine other brothers from totally different cultures and I am learning a lot. A lot that has been somewhat of a surprise to me. Here in the jungle it is amazing at how I have been able to reflect on my life so easily. God is revealing things in my life, ugly, horrible things that exist in the darkest part of my heart that I believe I have been hiding from all my life and still struggle with. We were challenged to meditate and spend time with God listening to his voice. I began speaking to God, and it felt like my words were going nowhere, and God wanted me to listen. Against my comfortable feelings, I began to listen. God began to tell me all the junk that existed in me. I was absolutely horrified by the sin in my heart. Being here, I have been struggling with so many things, life in the jungle, relationships with my brothers here, and mostly with the language. My thinking, though I probably wouldn’t have admitted it, or even acknowledge it, was trying to do this and that to earn God’s favor, to earn the favor of men, to win souls, and in reality I was doing it all for my glory. In my life I had been trying, trying so hard to “win souls,” to make revival happen because of my actions. After reading 1 Corithians 1:17, “Not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of it’s power,” God was telling me that I had been emptying it’s power for so long because I wanted the glory, because I wanted to “earn the crown.” It was such a humbling time, a horrible time, but a time I was completely broken in the presence of God Almighty and I was scared out of my mind. All the things I had been and still am struggling with, I thought I had to overcome with my strength in order that a people could be reached. God basically laughed at me and asked me, “Who are you? What can you do?” It is God’s work to win souls; my only job is to share God’s word, lest I get the glory when the glory belongs to Him. I am dust and my glory is dust. For so long I have been trying to appear righteous before man, fooling them, fooling myself, but in reality, in the light of my Savior, I am unrighteous, unholy, nothing. And what at first felt like such a sting to my pride, was actually a release of a burden I had carried my whole life. I am free to share God’s word and leave the work of transforming hearts to Him. I am ready to listen to God’s voice, to obey where He leads, but most of all I am ready to let myself be used despite my weakness, in order to see His glory be displayed. A part of me is ashamed to share this, because it reveals such an ugly side, but in truth, I feel much freer to share this because I know that whatever happens God will be glorified, and for that I am grateful and rejoice.

In Psalms 90, Moses writes,

¨Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the Earth and
the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God. You return man to dust.¨

To be dust one can truly see that it is God who is working with His great power for His great Glory. But what a privilige to be a part of this great work, and though we are dust we are still considered Sons of the Living God.

In this Psalm, Moses writes,

¨Let the work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their
children. Let the favor of the LORD our God be upon us and establish the
work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!¨

I will be working with the Chayanta Quechua in the mountains of Bolivia of whom less than 2% have heard the Gospel. Pray that God will prepare their hearts for His message and that He will establish the work of our hands.

Measure of my Days

It has been forever and a day since I lasted posted and for that I am sorry. As soon as I was able to get out of Nueva Vida, I went to another community before I had time to update. So here it is.

May 29- We head out from Yurimaguas to go to Nueva Vida, a small Chayahuita Village. We get on a very small boat with an engine that resembles that of a mower engine with a propeller on the end and with thirty other people we head out. We are on that boat for close to thirty hours straight, the boat did have a small covering so Big Red didnt consume my flesh. At one point during the evening, we hit a shallow spot, which we had to get out and help push. This was just the beginning of river fun.

May 31- We get to another smaller town, a few hundred maybe, and switch to a peki peki. A boat that is carved out of a tree, and that same lawnmower engine with a propeller is stuck on the back. They tell us at three in the afternoon that we should be in Nueva Vida in four hours. Eight hours later in the pouring rain, with no cover we arive there around midnight. There was a bit of leakage problem that we had to use a bowl to drain the boat of water periodically. Cold, tired, hungry, and wet we finally arrive.

June 1- The first day we get aquainted with the community, learned some of the greetings in Chayahuita. Only a hand full of people spoke Spanish, and none of the women did.

June 2- This was community work day. We wanted to earn our food, and our stay, and just be a part of the people as much as possible, so we sharpened our machetes and started to help. The project was to basically cut the grass throughout the community in order to maintain it. We went to town on that grass, and before long we both realized we were the only ones working, because everyone in the village was staring at the silly gringos hacking away at the grass. I like to think we held our own, except when I reared back with my left hand and the machete was flung a good twenty feet behind me. Luckily no one was there. That would have kind of ruined my witness, but they just laughed at the silly gringo. This was a good day, despite the several blisters, if only because they had never seen gringos work with them in that way. It was a great testimony to what we wanted to accomplish in that we are all working together.

June 3- Sunday, and we went to church, which is pretty traditional. The women get dressed up in their traditional Chayahuita dresses and paint their faces. Most of the village came to church, as the village was founded as a Christian community. One could sense their deep commitment to the Lord. Later that afternoon we went fishing with a net...great fun.

June 4- We head into the jungle to clear it with our machetes and do our part. This was a lot of fun, until the heat and the bugs just wore me down. That night is when the sickness really hit me. I had a terrible fever and my appetite immediately left me.

June 5- The Typhoid totally took me out this day. I was bedridden and lost all energy, my whole body ached and was severely weak. I had a temperature of 104, and didnt drop under 102 for two days. They had a clinic which gave me some medicine and basically just checked to see if I had Malaria. I wont go into the details of the sickness but it was not pretty.

June 6-8- Because I got sick we werent able to go out to the other communities in order to tell stories and train the Chayahuita. So we were waiting until I got better before we headed out. For three days I didnt eat except maybe a few crackers. I recovered slowly but surely and my appetite took a long time for it to come back. I ended up losing close to fifteen pounds.

June 9- Two people died from Malaria. One of the founders of the village, an older man, and a teenager. We visited the families during this time. For the most part, these people see death as a regular part of life (which it is), and at first I thought they were kind of cold, but when death is this common, they learned to live with it and treat it as such.

June 11- Jeff was diagnosed with Malaria. We realized we needed to get out to get proper treatment, and basically leave the Chayahuita do their work because by this time we were only hindering them.We were going to leave this day, but the waters were not high enough. It is dry season and boat travel depends on the rains. We were actually so fortunate to be able to get to Nueva Vida as soon as we did, but the Lord brought the rains for us to go up river. Now we were waiting for more rain to get us down the river.

June 12- It rained all night and most of the morning. The waters raised significantly. We were sure we would be able to leave, at least fairly soon. That night we find out there was a strike in Yurimaguas, the whole city, so we werent able to get a ride. We prayed for the strike to end.

June 13- That morning we find out that the strike ended. True answer from God, however the waters lowered already and there was no ride. We had to pray for more rain and a ride.

June 14- We find out that there is a man leaving this day, but he didnt have a boat yet. We prayed for a boat. We left Nueva Vida in the afternoon on a boat, Glory to God. By this time my sickness had totally subsided and I had my appetite back, which was good because Jeff had lost his, which meant I had to eat his portions as he had to eat mine when I was sick. It seemed to work out perfect like that. For the most part Jeffs symptoms were so mild and almost non-existent that travel was much easier.

We took a peki peki and had to get out numerous times to push. The boat almost tipped over and our bags fell in the water. We were wet, cold, tired, hungry, and smelled awful. That night they take us to a town to rest. We knew no one and had to find a place to lie down for the night. We walk aimlessly into the village and a family took us in and fed us and gave us a place to lay our heads. Lords provision.

June 15- We took the boat to another town where we got on a bigger boat to get to Yurimaguas. This boat had a cement mixer, a ridiculous amount of bananas, pieces of meat hanging dripping blood on our bags, and a huge bull. Yeah, I thought to myself, I wonder how they got that huge bull in here considering there was maybe a hole next it about three by seven feet. We stopped a little ways...to pick up another bull. When I saw them dragging this unwilling bull down the hill, I said to myself, surely not. Well, sure enough, they dragged the bull, kicking and what not, through that small three by seven foot hole. It basically collapsed after the struggle and they tied it down so it wouldnt keep charging me though it tried many a time. By this time Jeffs symptoms were acting up and we were desperate to get to Yurimaguas. At six we finally made it, smelling like manure, exhausted, and Jeff was so sick that I was worried.

The strike, however, was still not officially over, so we had no ride to the hospital. The father-in-law of the man we stayed with brought over some medicine but quickly had to leave because the natives were trying to slash his tires and throw rocks at him in order to enforce this strike. Jeff had taken some medicine, which had a lot of side effects, not so pleasant. By the morning he was feeling much better and we walked to the hospital for there was still no transportation. At the hospital they tell us things we already know, and he took the medicine already that they recommended. All was well, because we were mostly fine by the next day and traveled by bus and car for two and a half days to Lima.

Nueva Vida was a beautiful community with beautiful people. Everyday we would look out and be amazed at the mountains that surrounded the village and each sunset was breathtaking. I was truly blessed by the passion of the people, how they loved each other, and how generally everyone seemed happy, seemed just content with their lot in life.

Our diet basically consisted of green bananas (immature bananas -terrible) that were boiled, with yuca, and soup, sometimes chicken.We bought noodles and fish spaghetti (it is as nasty as it sounds but at the time, it was glorious). That was basically it with the exception of a lot of Papaya, coconut, and we had monkey. Hoorah! We went hungry many times. Many times there was just no food. We bought some crackers and one or two days that was all we had. However, looking back, God provided whenever we needed it. The people that took care of us were so gracious with everything, and I cannot count all the times people brought us fruit to eat.

I cannot express how much the Lord saw us through time and time again. What I learned, what I experience through those two weeks were so difficult and trying to my soul, but it was something that I needed and that I can now cherish. What comes to my mind is that the Lord just totally dashed me against the rocks, totally humbled me. There I was having no Spanish, no training in the area of missions, but there to learn as well. I couldnt contribute really anything, couldnt build relationships not knowing the language, and had to depend so much on Jeff on translation and so much more. Not only that but I hindered the ministry when I got sick.

At this time is when I had such a dark brutal night of my soul. I felt so worthless, so down, so incapable, and all the time I was so miserable physically. I can honestly say that I was never mad at God, but emotions, feelings of abandonment, of loneliness, of worthlessness flooded me, consumed me. Psalm 39 was my passage. I did all I could to not speak out against God, for the sickness, for being dead weight, for the total humiliation, but in the end I did hold my tongue. I felt that God was telling me over and over again that He wanted to break me in everyway, to make me truly know the measure of my days, that my life is His, His to do whatever He wants with me. I felt spent by the hostility of His hand, but verse seven spoke so clear to my soul. "And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is you." This changed everything for me, from waiting on a boat to waiting for the day I knew Spanish, to waiting for the day I was finally trained, to waiting for the season that I could be used. He told me to wait only on Him, that all my hope is in Him. That in waiting for this day or that season, or even for a boat, that God always has something for me right now, even if it is to humble me and dash me against the rocks.

I am so grateful for that season. I know the measure of my days, and I hope that I will spend those days in continual hope in Him. Though they were tough days, lonely days, I wouldnt trade that experience for all the treasure in the world. Not only that God, in the days of uncertainty of about our travel back to Yurimaguas, whispered so softly to me saying "For what are you waiting for? I am here, hope in me." I let go, and God continually showed Himself faithful time and time again, whether it was bringing rain, stopping a city strike, getting a boat, healing sickness, or even delaying the sickness long enough to travel, I was utterly amazed at His Hand on our lives and continually directed our path.

I praise God for all the people that have been praying for Jeff and me. Your prayers were answered in more ways that you can ever imagined. Especially the letters that I received from everyone was such a blessing to me that I was never alone, but I had so many warriors interceding on their hills so that I could make it through all the battles taking place in the valley. Thank you so much. I am so grateful for all of you.

In the end we gathered a lot of information about the Chayahuita and recruited two guys to come to the training in August that I will be going through as well. Jeff, in the past few weeks, received more extensive training about how to train, and he might be going back to Nueva Vida in August to help once again with the work there. If nothing else, I grew so close with my Savior, and I am so thankful to draw ever so close to His presence, even it was a painful process of peeling all the pride and the flesh off my heart.

I will try to add some pictures to this post and will shortly post about the most recent travel. Right now I am in Pucallpa about to travel to Lima to get my residency. Pray for our country because it is in turmoil right now and there are strikes happening everywhere. But what do I wait, my hope is in Him.

Top of the Hill

In Exodus 17, Israel faces Amalek. Joshua was chosen to pick the men and be their commander and to fight against the enemy. All the while Moses went to the top of the Hill with the staff of God to intercede on behalf of Joshua and Israel. Whenever, his arms were raised, the Israelites started to overcome the enemy, but when Moses grew tired and lowered his arms, the Israelites began to fall. I believe this to be so true on so many levels. That Joshua did not gain the victory, nor even the Israelites, but only through God. He allowed the victory through the intercession of Moses on top of the hill. I honestly, without a doubt, know that I cannot face the enemy unless I have intercession. Unless I have people on top of the hill. My hope is that you will remember me, so that God can have the victory in whatever He asks me to do. Your prayers are so greatly appreciated and I need them so desperately.

Just some prayer concerns for the next two to three months:

1. Obedience in whatever He asks us to do
2. The Chayahuita in their training and that they will be able to reach their cousin people groups
3. Health and Protection for me and my partner Jeff Hill (Diego on my Fellow Sojourner)
4. Learning Spanish for me and Chayahuita for both Jeff and me
5. Physical, Spiritual, and Emotional endurance through the heat, the bugs, the work, the hunger
6. Being able to adapt to the culture and be sensitive in that way

Thanks for all your prayers. I already feel them giving me more and more grace to do what He has called me to do. I am confident that your prayers will be answered by the end of this brief journey and that I will be able to share with you in each and everyway that He showed Himself faithful.

¨But Moses´ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.¨
-Exodus 17:12

Half the Battle

The last post was kind of serious. I hope this one is a little lighter, but maybe still of some value.
When I first went out into the jungle, I took all the things I needed. Shirts, socks, pants, soap, you know, the essentials. Well, an epiphany came upon me that I had not packed any of my boxers. The only boxers being the ones I had on at the time. A glimmer of hope resided in me that Jeremy, my leader, might take me back to get some. Upon asking my fearless leader, he simply replied, ¨man, that sucks.¨ And as I walked away, humbled in defeat, he called back to me adding to his first comment, ¨You know what the G.I Joe saying is...now you know, and knowing is half the battle.¨ He was quite amused at this, which in fact was amusing, but better if it was at the expense of another.
Needless to say, I experienced the jungle commando style (sorry if this offends anyone, not sure why, men used to run naked in the Olympics, maybe not a sound argument). If nothing else, I did learn that I didn´t need my boxers. I survived, and it was actually an experience that helped me realize something. That so many times we depend on so many things that are not necessary. They are comforts or even luxuries, but not having boxers was one less thing to wash and keep up with. It proved to be more efficient.
Knowing is Half the Battle, and we never know until we experience it. Whether that be hardship, suffering, even love. Books don´t suffice, even seeing someone else go through the fire is not enough for us to be able to know what it is like when we are tested. Experience is knowledged.
Some of the things I have eaten have been pig intestines, a pig´s foot that was used during a class on stitching (we don´t get much meat in the jungle, I believe I ate the cartiliage all on that foot), papaya, which is amazing by the way. Our main food usually consisted of rice and an egg or oatmeal for breakfast. We fried many a bananna which surprisingly tasted so close to French fries. I guess when you are hungry it doesn´t matter. I had a piece of Armadillo, and some of the other guys had killed a snake and fried it before I had arrived. I hate that I had missed out.
Walking to my ¨casa¨or house, which was made by my partners, I had to cross over two small creeks, one which was about fifteen feet wide, the other about ten. Our ¨bridges¨were trees cut down and placed over the chasm. Yes, it was a chasm. Shoes proved to be the clumsiest, as I fell many a time, and bruised up my legs pretty well. My pride was hurt worse but fortunately no one saw. It was best to walk barefoot, because that was when one had the most balance. But it also opened up the possibility of any number of things biting or who knows what. I had a ¨piki¨ or some little buglike creature that had made its home in my big toe. I didn´t think much of it, but did wonder why my right foot was missing the same bump. After it turned black I realized something probably should be done, and yeah, I cut it out with my knife. A lot of grossness came out that I won´t detail here, but I believe I got it all and all is well...I hope.
I am sure this is only a taste of what I will experience, the good with the bad, but we must praise Him for both. I have had a lot of fun, and I have enjoyed the fellowship with the guys here. I believe in what our mission is, and to hear from the reports from the other guys´ trips I am greatly encouraged. I hope you guys are encouraged too. I have felt the strength of your prayers and memories of all of you give me much joy and peace. God is faithful, He always is.

Down a Muddy Peruvian Road

Well, this is really the first time I have had a chance to blog since I have gotten down here. I am extremely limited in all forms of communication, so I hope that mercy will be given. So here is a quick update.
I am in Puerto Maldanado, which is a small city in the far southeast corner of the country. When I came, Jeremy, the Xtreme Team Leader, was in the process of training ten guys and three girls. They had about a month of training left. So for a little over two and a half weeks I stayed with the guys in training. There were two gringos (those of American Nationality), an Equadorian, and the rest were from various indigenous tribes throughout the country. The camp was in the middle of the jungle, where we had to bathe and wash clothes in the river, cook all our food from a camp fire, and basically endure nature and all its glory. It is amazing how many things I have taken for granted.
I don´t know Spanish, which I have been quickly assimilated with the guys. I was put into a group of three guys that we shared a house (which was built out of logs cut from machetes), and cooking. None of them spoke English, so needless to say we had some interesting conversations. I just hope that in my attempt to learn the language I didn´t offend anyone too bad.
Every morning we ran and did many excercises. The first day it rained hard in the morning. The route we ran, which was four miles, seemed uphill there and back, and with the mud I had a hard time finding my balance (which proved to be a consistent theme), but obviously the Peruvians had no trouble as they smoked me. Some not even wearing shoes. Humbling.
Well, upon running down that muddy Peruvian road, rain drenching me as I tried my hardest not to fall down the hills, I smiled to think that there was no other place I rather be. God has chosen me to be here for such a time as this.
Having said that, God has really put me through the fire since I have arrived. I have been challenged so greatly in spirit. I have been attacked spiritually, physically, emotionall, and mentally. Satan has tried to put so many doubts about my abilities, or lack thereof, and just try to rob me of my joy in God´s strength. I have to always come back to the reality that God is powerful enough to take my weaknesses and turn them into something that can be used. I just have to be willing to be pruned and refined. I have been sick with a sinus infection, my skin broke out in a rash, I have never felt hunger and thirst as I did in the jungle, the heat has worn me down, all the while I am trying my best to learn a language and be of some use to the guys. It is a good thing God doesn´t call the strong or the wise, but the weak and foolish. The latter two I have proven again and again that I qualify.
In everyway God has revealed more and more weaknesses, places where I need to grow. I have died a thousand deaths here, but what is wonderful is that God has raised me to new life a thousand times.
The guys had their graduation, which I will have to go through training, which is three months long, starting on August 20. Until then I am going with Jeff, one of the guys that just got done with training, to a Chyahuita Village where we will help another guy from training raise up a team to reach other indigenous tribes nearby. I will be out for three months and come back right before training starts. Not knowing Spanish or Chyahuita, obviously I will be a little overwhelmed, but if you can pray, pray that I will excel in the languages and can be of some use to the ministry. We have to be diligent in becoming like the people we will work with. Eat like them, work like them, and pick up much of their culture so that the Gospel and the training can flow and be received well. Pray for that sensitivity.
I appreciate everyone´s support and I hope that I will be able to update this again soon, but if not it will be mid August. Just remember me, and pray that I am faithful in all that I am called to do. Especially pray for the Chyahuita in that God will do an amazing work in them. I hope to maybe add to this blog when I have more time.

God Waits

It has been over year since I started the whole Journeyman process. So much has happened since I took that initial step into the unknown. From the first day of the process, through the three stages of the written application, finally going to the screening conference to find out what job I was going to do, and then going through two months of orientation there has been a lot of time to think this through. A lot of waiting.
In all reality much of life is waiting. Yet have we not lost the mentality that “good things come to those who wait?” In this corporate America of fast food, high speed internet, and instant messaging there is little room for any idea of waiting. The expectation is that if we can’t have it now it is not worth having. We use this same approach with God in how we spend time with Him. As we pray we expect immediate results, visible results. Or when difficult times arrive we fail to see the growth that comes through trials and tribulations. We suffer because we don’t know what longsuffering is.
The toughest time for me is when I am at a place that I don’t have a direct word from God. I am in a pickle between two different roads and I rush to go down one without really waiting on God to reveal to me what His will is. I have learned so much over the past year through this great waiting period. Going from one event to another, always in anxious expectation of the next season in life I miss what I am experiencing in the here and now, which is my fellowship with Christ. He is always present, always here with me, and what greater privilege is there than to enjoy Him?
Isaiah 30:18 says, “Blessed are all those who wait on Him.” I took this as my personal verse for the longest time, because of the whole blessing factor. But I truly missed what this was actually saying. If we wait on God it’s not that we get a blessing as a reward, but that the actual process of waiting is the blessing. When we wait on God, we show that we are truly trusting God, making Him our trust. Waiting is trusting. When this happens we depend so much on God that we don’t limit God in what He will do in our lives.
Looking back on this verse one thing that I looked over that is so essential in our relationship with God is the first part of the verse. “Therefore, the Lord waits to be gracious to you.” At first glance this seems that we should just expect blessings at any second because of God’s eagerness to bless. What I failed to realize is that God is waiting for me. For me it is sometimes hard to imagine God’s patience. His patience with my whole life in my sin, my walk, and my calling. I felt a strong call to missions when I was fourteen but I ran away from that calling. It wasn’t until a year ago that I took up the path that God had planned for me. God has had this beautiful plan for my life, blessings indescribable, but I ran to what I thought were greener pastures, safer pastures. God waited and waited to be Gracious to me, He waited for me to respond, for me to obey. He patiently allowed me to run from my calling, and even led me to a cave where wind, earthquakes, and fire passed, yet spoke to me in a still small voice, asking me what I was doing there and why I wasn’t where He wanted me to be.
God is so gracious, and is eager to bless us, but many times it is we who have to act in loving obedience. As I have said I have waited for this moment for about a year now, where I will be headed overseas to fulfill my calling. God has been waiting since the foundation of the world. What I have found that many a time when I thought I was waiting on God, it was God who was waiting on me.

Sweet Sorrow

Back in Florida, I sit down reminiscing over the past two months and I can only smile at the Grace given so bountifully. Who am I to receive such? Entering orientation I was full of anxiety and little to no expectations about what was going to happen. I desired to be faithful and obedient but knowing myself I was afraid to fall as so many times before. Immediately I felt a huge burden weighing my soul down that I was literally forced to be humbled to my knees. My sole desire became to know Christ, know Him personally, Him intimately, to be so close it hurt; I would worry about the details later. What happened was a wonderful two months filled with great difficulty but greater glory, always leading me to the throne of His Grace. Though I fell into many a “slough of despond” God always provided a companion on the other side to lift me out. Passing through this world as a pilgrim I cherish the company of the other pilgrims on the same path to the Celestial City. My travels couldn’t have been made without the Faithful and Hopeful that accompanied me. This is what makes our departure so bittersweet. Each assigned to their own battlefield, we must part. In our parting we are left with sweet memories mingled with the sorrow of being without the other. Though we take different roads for the King we will meet at the same destination on the other side of His Good Will. I pray that when my time is up I will be found faithful among the faithful.

A Blossoming Fig Tree

God gives so graciously to all His Beloved children. His blessings are almost too great for our depraved souls to comprehend. What I find so evident in this world and in my own life is that though God's blessings are so wonderful they always are in danger of becoming our greatest curses. The light from the sun, the fruit from the trees, the water from the streams, all things given by our Father are given from His pure Love. The purpose of His gifts is to always lead us to the throne of God, to have fellowship with our Maker, the Maker of all things; Gifts are to be a reflection of God as our Creator. The view now has reversed in that people view God as a means to be led to the throne of their desires and their pleasures, only to be mastered by them. The phrase is accurate, "the things you own soon own you." In John 6:26, Jesus says to the people from the five thousand He fed with fish and loaves, "you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of loaves." How many times do we seek the gifts and not the Giver, the creation and not the Creator? I am not without guilt. As I see a blossoming fig tree and I am grateful for the fruit, but though it might satisfy the hunger of my flesh, it will never satisfy the hunger in my soul. This desire so foreign to any worldly pleasures can only be satisfied in our fellowship with God. Our creator has given us all things to enjoy them, but not to have our joy in them. C.S. Lewis says, “When a love becomes a god, it becomes a demon.” At any point we must be willing to walk away, to die to our pleasures so we can have the ultimate pleasure in Him. We praise God for the blossoming fig tree, but we should praise Him without it as well. With Habakkuk we should always be able to say, “Though the fig tree should not blossom…yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will take joy in the God of my salvation.” (Hakakkuk 3:17,18)

Savages

I figured since I am here at Rockville, VA, and there is not a whole lot of action going on now, that I will try to post every week about what I am learning or experiencing until I get on the field. I credit Parker Windle for the use of the word, Savage. One of the greatest joys of being here during orientation is having fellowship with my brothers in Christ. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by Savages who walk the Way of Christ, charging against the gates of hell to proclaim the light in the midst of darkness. As we strive forward in this continuing epic we grow stronger together. We have had many rituals proving our savagery, which include Savage Night (a.k.a date night by those less savage), Walking on Water, playing Bolivian Basketball, the Swing of Glory, and Running the Gauntlet over the River Of Death (R.O.D.) I cannot quite convey how much God has used these guys to further my walk, challenge me where I am weak, and if nothing else have a great time even while doing things not so smart. There is something to be said of an army, a tribe, a band of brothers marching to the same beat, for the same cause, in this case to further the Kingdom of God. They are the Savages refusing to conform to this world becoming outcasts who boldly proclaim the Gospel for the True King. I give a shout out to my brothers, my fellow sojourners, who walk worthy and allow me to share in their Savagery.

Awake the Dawn

I figured that I would explain the reason why I titled this blog the way that I did, besides the obvious reason that I think it sounds cool. Know that I am no theologian, but only a fellow layman, a child of my Father in Heaven and these blogs are only an expression of my relationship with my Beautiful Savior. Please lend grace to where my weaknesses truly show in my writing and even my thoughts.
Psalm 57 has been truly one of my favorite Psalms ever since I went to Venezuela on my first mission trip during the summer of 2003. I was interning under the Incredible Randy Presley and was placed on a team with my adopted family members, Steve and Trish Karn. From the trip I remember most vividly that I never wanted to do missions again and I definitely wouldn't go back to South America. It was a stressful week that only revealed my lack of spiritual maturity. I learned more than I thought, however, and one thing I did take from it was this Psalm that was read by one of the Venezuelan pastors. When he read it, it was like I had never seen it before even though I read through the Psalms a thousand times. Looking back and seeing how God has worked within me a passion for missions I realize how He planted the seed of verse 2 deep within my heart, "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me."
I always loved the imagery of verse 8 especially. "Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will Awake the Dawn!" This verse I believe is speaking to the necessity, the urgency of worshipping God. The verse before and the verses after speak of giving thanks, singing praises, the exaltation of God, His Glory being over all the earth. Is this not why we were created? Our purpose to exalt an Almighty God, the Creator, the Author of Life? I believe all creation speaks, sings, shouts His Glory, His Majesty. Why should we, who have been made in His image, do any less?
There was probably no one who was more passionate about praising God than David, a man after God's own heart. David here, first says, "Awake my glory!" He is basically saying, "Awake my whole being, my whole essence, everything that is in me, let it be alert, let it be totally aware of my God." How many times have I been divided in my thoughts, and have worshipped half-heartily, holding back what I wasn't willing to give to Him? O, that I would awake my glory, awaken it to the praise of my Living God, that all of who I am, all my strengths, all my weaknesses, all I fear and love, all my thoughts and desires, my whole body and soul are awoken to the sunrise of His Eternal Beauty.
He then says, "Awake, O harp and lyre!" David was such an amazing song writer that we still use his beautiful poetry today. What makes them so powerful yet relevant is that he sung and played from what was in the depths of his heart crying out. His music reflected his passion for God, and here he wanted to use his skill of harp and lyre to bless his Savior, to worship Him in song.
Finally, he says, "Awake the Dawn!" David is so eager to see the sunrise so that he can begin to praise the LORD. If he could he would have literally woken a personified dawn so that he could declare the mercies of the LORD. To have such passion, to look forward to the next day only to lift up our God in praise for who He is. I know there have been many a day that I have dreaded and I became bogged down with the trivialities of life. But what if my attitude was to eagerly await, wanting desperately to awake the dawn so that I may begin to declare how great is my God? In so many ways I am impatient to look for my own glory. I wake up in the morning, consumed with who I am that I truly miss why I am, why I have been created.
The verses after this speak soundly of our purpose, which is fulfilled only by God. That He is exalted above the Heavens! That His Glory be over all the earth! I pray that my life will be a pursuit of Him, and will not rest in anything but fellowship with Him. That my life will glorify God in such a way that He is truly magnified and I am nothing more than a reflection. The desire of my soul is to long for tomorrow, to give thanks to God for yet another day to Honor Him, to awake eagerly so I have the opportunity to praise my LORD. I will awake the dawn.

Beginnings

I hope this to be the first of many blogs chronicling my adventure through these next couple of years. God has laid on my heart a burning desire for the lost that have never been told the Good News. In the heart of South America there are many indigenous people groups that have never had the chance to hear of Salvation. They live in difficult areas to access, which few sojourners have ever travelled. How are they to call on His Name, to believe, to hear unless someone is sent? I pray with the strength of the LORD and His good purpose He will use this broken instrument for His Glory and the advance of His Kingdom. I know this will not be an easy journey nor do I intend for it to be, but what I seek is His Good pleasure in my obedience to His will. This road will lead me to great mountains taking me to the heights of His Majesty where I will be engulfed by His Holy presence, but it will also take me to the lowest depths of spiritual valleys where my only Hope through the darkness is to hold onto the Light that will lead me Home. My intention is to share the workings of God in my life and the lives of the Xtreme Team so that we can fellowship in His Glory all to the praise of His Name. Right now I am in Rockville, Virginia going through Orientation but I will be heading to Peru on April 18th. Please be in prayer for my preparation as I will soon embark on this journey with the LORD.