Moving

I have decided to move my blog. Well, not really my blog. This blog is not moving. It is, however, time for me to move on.

I first started this blog when I was in Richmond training to assimilate to life overseas. It was a means to update the folks back home about my adventures overseas. When I first got back to the States, I thought about disbanding the blog altogether because there was no exciting spiritual adventure to be had. This in turn became an indictment primarily because there was no exciting spiritual adventure to be had. We all have a story to write and I was not writing mine well.

The blog has really become more of an accountability that I should be living in such a way that it can be written down. So, I have tried to write, though unsuccessful in consistency, what I have been learning, how I have been growing here in North Carolina. This has been fun though I feel that my thoughts communicated on this web page have run its course. I have my partner, my bride, my best friend to share a story with. I am glad to be writing with her now. My wife, Susan, and I have decided to join our blogs into one. Maybe this way we can be more consistent. (That and she is an awesome writer for which I hope to benefit by association).

It is good and right to end this blog on the four year anniversary of the first unforgettable day of our orientation in Richmond, where I met the dearest of brothers, and most of all my beautiful bride. Awakethedawn will always be an encouragement for me to meet each and every morning with a fervor to fight to see God’s glory in every moment. I hope that it defined me in this blog as I hope it will define me in the next blog.

I realize that this post could be a bit narcissistic considering there are all of two of you who check this, of whom I probably could either call you up to let you know I have a new blog or just walk over to your place and tell you to your face. Either way, if someone comes here on accident or even if one has a true desire to read about what is going on in our lives it can be done at grahamandsusan.wordpress.com.

Thank you for all those who kept up with me over the years and have earnestly prayed for me by checking this blog. Please continue to pray. We are desperate for His grace and for your intercession.

Charity: A Hermeneutic Goal

I just completed a class on the History of the Interpretation of the Old Testament. It was fascinating and surprisingly very edifying. The class was a weeklong intensive from 8 to 5 with a lot of reading in preparation of the class. When I told people about the class I received blank stares or pats on the shoulder as if to console me in a time of mourning. I haven’t gotten my grade back yet so I might need the consoling pat later, but as for now I am still encouraged by what I learned.

When I came to seminary I wanted to learn what was right. I wanted to open the Word and come to the right meaning. I took a class on hermeneutics (interpretation) and thought this would train me well enough for that purpose. What I found in me, however, was more of a desire to be right than in knowing the Author of Scripture. Finding the correct or orthodox meaning of a text is of the utmost importance but it cannot stop there.

The person who came to help me the most was the African Bishop of Hippo, Saint Augustine. It is insane to think about how much he accomplished and how much he influenced not only Christianity but philosophy in the West for hundreds of years. Augustine is known mostly for his theology, but my boy was even a Baller in hermeneutics.

Augustine’s “method” of interpretation is not all that original and he employs allegory, which leads to crazy conclusions to the modern eye. What is beautiful and freeing about Augustine is to see this man with the most brilliant mind be affected so much by his pastoral heart. When he came to Scripture his main goal of expositing a text was to promote charity (or love) to God and to his fellow man. Echoing the beautiful twofold commandment given by Jesus Christ he extended it to every aspect of his life, particularly interpreting the Bible.

Here are some Money Quotes regarding his interpretation of the Bible:

“All of Scripture concerns love; it is the upper part of the heavens because the heart that loves ascends to God. The work of interpretation has one task. Out of the holy page has no other end than love”

"So if it seems to you that you have understood the divine scriptures, or any part of them, in such a way that by this understanding you do not build up this twin love of God and neighbor, then you have not yet understood them"

If I am only extracting a certain truth from Scripture without stirring my affections for the LORD and for others then I am incomplete in my task. I have not reached the goal of hermeneutics. When Augustine opened the Scriptures he did not look to find himself, but he looked to find His Savior. It was this fervent pursuit to find God that Augustine was stirred to deep affectionate love for his Creator and fellow man.

This has changed the way I have viewed my hermeneutical goal. I have a new and deeper goal. I pray that the Holy Spirit will not only show me the truth in Scripture, but that He will stir me to charity.

Marriage: A Portrait of the Gospel

Susan and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary. I am among all men most blessed to have someone like Susan as my beautiful bride. She is the more than I could have ever imagined, or as Matt Chandler likes to say, I out punted my coverage.

I had previously posted about marriage last January when we were only three weeks in. I can honestly say though it was good then it has gotten even better, deeper, and more genuine.

Most people said the first year would be horrible so we didn’t have the highest expectations going in. We were happily surprised that this was not the case, and though by the good Lord’s grace it has been anything but that, I see how it could be that way. Place two desperate sinners of different genders in the same house and it is not going to be sunshine everyday.

I asked a friend of mine who had just had just celebrated his first year of marriage how the first year was. His answer was “Sanctifying”. Maybe it was too early on for me to practically grasp what he meant by that.

The hardest part of marriage has been how much my own selfishness has been vividly manifest. I have always been selfish but marriage put a mirror in front of me that I could not ignore. Of course selfishness being only one of the many revealed vices. Marriage is sanctifying because it forces me to deal with that which causes not only my wife to grieve, but also the Holy Spirit.

From Scripture we are taught that marriage must be portrait of the Gospel (Ephesians 5:32). How I love my wife should point to how Christ loves the church. Christ gives the perfect example how to love perfectly with no reservations. Love is more than feelings. It is a covenant that calls us to be more like Christ, love like Christ, die like Christ. O, how I fall short of this!

The Gospel becomes not only my motivation for how I should love my wife, but it is also the means by which I will love my wife. God loves me without condition and calls me to do the same and by the power of the Holy Spirit he empowers me able to love well.

I could not be happier with my life with Susan. It is wonderful and beautiful in every way. Convincing her to marry me has been and always will be my greatest accomplishment. I am, however, realizing more and more that marriage is not about me or about my happiness. It is the Gospel lived out for those to see. It is a portrait of grace, forgiveness, and charity.

One year has been amazing and I am confident it will only get better. Yet, even if we face hardships, I pray that the Gospel will always be our goal and our means. Though it doesn’t always look like it should, we must continue to behold His glory so that we can transform more into his likeness. Only by His grace have we gotten this far and by grace we will endure in the joy that is set before us.

I will leave you with this money quote from my boy Dietrich Bonhoeffer:

“It’s not your love that will sustain your marriage but your marriage that will sustain your love.”

I love you Susan. Happy Anniversary

The Social Network

Susan and I went and saw the new movie, The Social Network. The movie seemed interesting enough to see eventually, but after seeing four-star reviews as a norm among the critics I was moved to see it at the theatre. It was a good movie in the sense of how it was made, but it was dark and left very little redeemable value. What fascinated me about the movie is that it was about this recent phenomenon, the social network. I have been a member of Facebook maybe since 2004, when my roommate Greg Rogers created accounts for my other roommates and me without our consent. It felt at the time and I am almost more certain of it now, that it was a weird thing and a thing that lived and breathed on the hype of the masses.

After seeing the movie, the Social Network, though definitely not a factual story, I feel more aware of the attractiveness. At the core of us all we want to belong, to be a part of something, but naturally this involves the exclusion of others. In essence, if everyone belonged then no one would belong. The very idea of exclusion is what appeals to our nature, and it is driven by comparison to our peers. I remember when Facebook was only for those in universities. Auburn, at the time, was one of the universities included, and I must admit that I was part of something unique and I to some degree reveled in it. I remember when Facebook was expanded to high schools and then later to any and all who desire to have a Facebook account. There came this feeling that it was no longer unique or “cool”. It had lost much of its appeal to me because it was no longer exclusive.

What is fascinating to me is the brilliance of Facebook to keep attracting people. It almost seems that it is now using the famous “everyone’s doing it” tactic and it is working. Don’t get me wrong; I think there is nothing intrinsically wrong in Facebook or the social network. I think it is amoral, a tool that can be used for good and for bad. Obviously, I still have Facebook, but like anything I must be careful.

The sad consequence of the booming social network, though, is that it is causing our interpersonal relationships to suffer. I have many a friend who will be more into Twitter and Facebook on their phone than the conversation that is happening in person. A USA Today article states that people are more open with their personal life in a public sphere on the Internet than within their groups of people they interact with daily. The problem with the social network is that it fosters an artificial community that makes us feel like we belong but lacks genuine accountability to who we truly are in our daily lives. This is not to say that we cannot or do not hide in real life. It is to say that we have empowered our hiding and created an artificial feeling of belonging that promotes narcissism.

The redeemable aspect of the movie, The Social Network, the “take home” so-to-speak, is the grim lesson that the main character learned. In gaining all these artificial friends via the internet, he gave up the one genuine relationship he had. People throughout the movie started becoming friends with him because of his success or brilliance, but never for who he was, and you can see it takes its toll on him. The movie might as well be a parable to our generation whose identity is wrapped up in the ability and the availability to communicate what we want others to think about us without having to live up to it. All the while, neglecting the beautiful souls who are right in front of us. True community can be had, but I doubt it can ever be genuinely had via the internet.

Contrast

I came across a beautiful truth as I was reading a book on grammar by Richard Young for my Greek class. I want to say it was a riveting read but it was pretty technical and I found myself rereading pages just to fully grasp the minute details. There was, however, one passage in a chapter on sentence structure that surprisingly stirred me. The passage was explaining the idea of “prominence” as the “state of standing out from the surroundings so as to be easily noticed.”

What caught my eye the most was the statement: “If all parts of a discourse are equally prominent, total unintelligibility results. The result is like being presented with a piece of black paper and being told, ‘This is a picture of black camels crossing black sands at midnight.’” So in essence, “We can only perceive something if it stands out from its background.”

I have thought often about this idea of contrast and how it is through contrast that we are able to perceive many truths. The main contrast that this brings to mind is that of good and evil. This is by no means an essay on why evil exists but rather a mere reflection on its existence in light of the existence of good.

In this world every human being has an idea of good and evil. Like the range of colors with its varying degrees of intensity, so it is with a range from good to evil. Some things can be viewed even as morally neutral or indifferent. There is an idea present in all of us of the two extremes from good to evil. We see figures in history like Hitler as the epitome of evil and Mother Teresa as the epitome of good.

I could totally be wrong about this, but we have a clearer idea of what is good because we have the contrast of evil. Evil makes good prominent. The good stands out from the bad like a candle that lights up a dark room.

Though contrast helps reveal what is prominent, the contrast only helps us to see the reality. The contrast does not make it the reality. A candle in a well-lit room won’t be as prominent as in a dark room but it burns regardless. In the same way, God’s goodness doesn’t depend on the contrast because it is true in and of itself. But when we rightly reflect on our own sinful nature, and the evil that is in the world, the thing most prominent is God’s goodness and holiness.

It is easy to compare good with evil and to see that great divide. But how I believe all should see it, the most glorious contrast is God to everything else. Even the best thing in this world would fail to compare to His glory. In all things God is not only prominent but he is also preeminent. This is the beautiful contrast.

Though it is right and good to recognize how God is contrasted with the world, let our lives correspond to that knowledge, being salt and light, living for Jesus Christ who has transformed and is transforming us into His image. My prayer is that others can see the contrast of those who believe in the Resurrection and the rest of the world, all to the Glory of His Name.

Greatness

I read an interesting article by Jeff Pearlman today concerning the recent plight of Roger Clemens. He writes,

No, the vanity is what, one must think, brought Clemens to this dreaded point in his life; the belief that throwing a baseball -- a random act somehow deemed valuable by our society -- is important and powerful and worthy of great riches and praise and status.”

It is interesting because in our society, in our culture, in our nature there is something very troubling, though very subtle, about how we idolize athletes. I grew up playing sports, loving sports, and even loving to hate the rival teams. Riding the emotional roller coaster it became addictive. But when I was overseas and no one there knew anything about my favorite basketball team, let alone how many national championships they had, and before I knew it, the identity connected with a certain team, sport, athlete, came obsolete. For this I am grateful for it freed me.

We praise athletes for being able to run fast, throw hard, jump high, without giving much value to what is truly valuable in life. We pack stadiums to watch college kids run back forth on a field to the point that sports have become our identity.

I don’t know Roger Clemens personally so I cannot judge if he is proud or not. I know that he has been a phenomenal athlete throughout his brilliant career. My mom and I used to look forward to watching him play and we thoroughly enjoyed hearing about his work ethic. It was most impressive the longevity of his career. I must admit that I admired him for his athletic ability the same way I admired Michael Jordan in his “greatness” on the basketball court.

I don’t think it is wrong to appreciate a competitor like Clemens or Jordan, like I don’t think it is wrong to appreciate a brilliant musician. But I don’t know these men personally, and I wonder if I don’t give the credit due to the men and women in my life that are excellent in being good husbands and wives, in being good at their jobs day in and day out without praise.

How does one define greatness? Is it how well someone can play a particular sport? Or does greatness take on different characteristics?

If I had to truly weigh what is important in life I would come to the conclusion that the men and women I do know who love the Lord and live for Him faithfully have earned my respect infinitely far more than a man who throws an incredible fastball, whom I don’t even know.

Maybe greatness lies in the one who is a servant. The one who loves their enemies. The one who chooses to humble themselves so others can take the seat of honor.

I believe that I read that somewhere. I also believe that it is right and true.

Christianity and the Art of Moped Maintenance

Susan and I spent the summer in Wynne, Arkansas. Never growing up did I sit back and imagine myself having the best time in Arkansas. I grew up in Alabama and it is just best to go East from there. Little did I know that while I was imagining being in romantic places (maybe only romantic for us) like Turkey, Oregon, or China, the Lord had prepared for us joy overflowing in a little town in northeast Arkansas with a population of 8,000.

This is a short reflection on our short time with the amazing community of believers in Wynne, AR.

It was no easy thing to pick up and leave for the summer. Now that I am a semi-adult this kind of thing is getting more and more difficult. There are jobs, bills, and many other factors to consider. When I first heard about this opportunity I thought that we would soon know shortly if God wants us to do this by making it possible for us to leave given all our responsibilities. God answered our prayers and made it abundantly clear that this was obedience for us for this season. And despite our reticence, we knew it better to obey.

Our job for the summer was to disciple the youth at First Baptist Wynne under the leadership of Uncle Randy Presley. It was light on logistics and heavy on relationships for which I was most grateful. We had always talked about doing discipleship, small groups, and just being very relational in our approach to ministry but it was still a learning process for us as well.

How do we teach and lead in such a way that will empower these youth to teach and lead others? How do we make leaders instead of followers?

We asked these questions and many more as we poured into these kids. We wanted to show them how to be intentional with everything they did. To use their God given talents and every day opportunities and see them as resources God has entrusted them for the Kingdom. We also wanted to be relational instead of programmatic. We took them to lunch, we went running together, we went on trips together.

We did life together.

Though this seems “radical” I believe with all that I am that this is the model Christ first gave us. Light on logistics and heavy on relationships. Almost counter intuitive. Christ poured into a small group of guys and did everything together with them. He not only showed them how to do life but He did life with them.

I pray that we had some lasting impact on the youth, but in all honesty, I believe we were the most affected during this summer. God challenged us, encouraged us, and just spoke to every part of our being. The community of believers in Wynne was absolutely incredible as they poured into Susan and me. We had the greatest pleasure and joy being a part of the Body of Christ in Wynne, AR. They are the most amazing people and I am thankful to gain such deep brothers and sisters in Christ.

My prayer now is that we live out in Wake Forest what we learned and taught in Wynne.

POST SCRIPT

The last part of the summer I finally started using the moped that is owned by the church. Though I fell the first time, I got the hang of it and it has almost sold me on buying one of my own someday. Randy’s youngest, Margaret Ann, had nothing for me the whole summer. But in the last week I finally, by God’s good grace, won her over. She started to ask for me and actually smiled in lieu of crying when I walked in a room. The greatest thing is that now whenever she sees a motorcycle or a moped she will say my name. That is victory enough for me.

To Kill a Jabberwocky

It has been a couple of weeks since I saw the new 'Alice in Wonderland' in theaters. I thought it was a good, solid watch, though it did nothing too drastically different as to better or even worsen any of the versions before it.

What I do remember from the movie that I liked a lot was Alice's confrontation with the Jabberwocky. Not so much the actual fight but how she convinced herself that it could be done.

It was great. Alice has a shield and a sword walking slowly up to the massive beast and she says to herself that it is impossible to kill such a creature. Then, remembering a saying she shared with her father, "I have accomplished six impossibilities before breakfast." She then started listing the impossibilities she had accomplished before facing the Jabberwocky.

In my estimation it was one of the sweetest parts of the movie. It speaks to all of us in some way or another. I see something before me that is challenging and I want to balk. I have a tendency to get anxious or nervous about certain things and then I realize that I have done crazier things and seen miracles happen unexplainable.

It makes me think of God's grace in my life:

By His grace I have been saved from my sin.

By His grace I have had the Holy Spirit poured out on me.

By His grace I have a beautiful family.

By His grace I have community and fellowship with Godly brothers and sisters.

By His grace I have the most amazing wife.

By His grace God continues to make me into a more lovable creature by putting challenges along the way making me depend all the more on His beautiful grace.

It puts daily activity in perspective and makes us think about the weight of victory in overcoming the impossible.

We love stories that the hero has to overcome impossible challenges. That is what makes them the hero. But when it comes to our stories we would rather avoid the risk of losing. But when we think about it we live and breathe by miracles.

To kill a jabberwocky, one must think of all the miracles that have happened even before breakfast.

The Just and the Justifier

Today we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I guess in theory we celebrate it every Sunday, and I guess we should celebrate it every single day.

The Resurrection makes us who we are.

One of the greatest paradoxes of the Christian faith is that God is Just and Merciful. He is more Just than we will ever be and more Merciful than we will ever be. It is because of Christ that He can be both, because in Christ He holds these two together.

God is the Maker of Heaven and Earth. He is the King, a Righteous Ruler. To let rebellion go without punishing it would negate His Holiness, His Justice. A Just Ruler would not allow crimes to go unpunished.

So, the biggest struggle is that when I sin, when I rebel, when I am idolatrous, I feel the impossibility of approaching the throne of God, for it is against Him that I have sinned. My inclination is to run from the Sovereign God. But here is where the beautiful truth and freedom come in: Not only is He Just but He is the Justifier. He is not only the One who judges but He is the One who Saves.

My rebellion is against God Almighty, but at the same time only God Almighty can save me.

How does He do this? He becomes Man to take on the full punishment of rebellion of mankind. God remains Just and Merciful.

What better day to celebrate our Freedom? Religions have much truth to them but lack salvation for mankind. Christianity is so beautiful in that God becomes Man in order that His Character and Salvation are complete.

God is not only our Judge but Our Savior. He is not only the Just but the Justifier.

This is all because of Jesus Christ defeating death on the Cross.

What greater news is this?

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Chrsit Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:23 - 26)

Go For It

This day three years ago I went for it. A girl who did not really didn't notice me for the whole month and a half of our exhaustive knowledge of each other. I had made attempts, some very lame attempts, at getting to know her but only in that uncommitted way that is much like a middle schooler hitting a girl whom he likes.

Nothing worked. I tried several ploys that I found out later only backfired. It was all or nothing. I even had a verse in preparation for my expected rejection. "The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand." (Ps. 37:23, 24) I knew I could fall; I was just hoping I wouldn't be cast headlong. Sounds awful.

And so with little to no encouragement; with almost no hope whatsoever I put myself out there. By that time it was win-win. I wouldn't have to always wonder "what if?"

And now she is my wife.

I think the problem with many of the guys in the Church today (I count myself one of these before I finally put myself out there three years ago today) is that they befriend many girls, have many deep conversations, but never, ever put themselves in such a vulnerable position as to allow the girl to know their true intentions. And if they have no intentions then they should leave the girl alone. There has been many a trail of tears following guys with vague motives and ambiguous actions that are inconsistent and don't correspond with their words.

Telling Susan I was crazy about her seemed counter intuitive and foolish. But now, looking back three years after the fact, I could not imagine my life if I had not told her how I felt. I am thankful that I was not cast headlong and even more so that she gave me a chance.

Therefore, I tell all you guys who sit on the proverbially fence, "go for it." I am not saying it will necessarily work out. It very well might not work out. I am just saying be honest. At least you will know. And she will too. And you never know what could happen from there.

True Blue

I write this before the UK/Cornell game because an upset would make this post look silly.

There is nothing in sports more glorious than NCAA Tournament. Nothing. Even when the unthinkable happened (University of Kentucky not making the Big Dance) last year I still was fired up filling out my bracket, letting me emotions ride the roller coaster of the tournament with all its upsets, close victories, and close defeats. In my opinion the NCAA Tournament is a great example of what we label the "American Dream" (which would make the BCS the American Reality), where the underdog has a chance at greatness. This is the reason why most of the country pulls for the upset. America loves the underdog.

This makes rooting for UK difficult. The Cats are usually not the underdog in basketball (mostly because they play in the SEC). It makes it worse now that Kentucky's starting five is comprised mostly of NBA bound players who will not stay for more than a year. Don't get me wrong, I love watching these guys. John Wall is exciting, Cousins is a beast, and Bledsoe can hit the three (eight in a row the other day). They have brought success back to Lexington.

I have heard much criticism from those less fortunate who do not have quite the tradition UK enjoys. I must include, however, that the criticism has come from fans who pull for teams that have had their own fair share of "one and dones" (UNC and Duke, two other traditionally powerful teams). At the same time I confess that much of their criticism is not undeserved. There is something about the "one and dones" concept that I don't like. I understand it to some degree but it still doesn't feel as good as a team full of Seniors and Juniors who have been dedicated over the years and now seeing the fruit of their labor.

I remember back in '98 when Jeff Shepherd, Wayne Turner, and Scott Padgett were the main players for the Blue. I believe they were a 2 seed that year, and though still a high seed definitely not the favorite to win it all. They get to the regional final against Duke (their arch nemesis outside of the Commonwealth, and really based on one game) and find themselves down by seventeen points with seven minutes left to go. It was Tubby Smith's first season to coach and he beautifully outmaneuvered Coach K of Duke by not calling a time out for a run that lasted five minutes long. UK miraculously come back to win that game. In the Final Four they came back from behind to beat Stanford in Overtime, and then against Utah in the Final, down by ten at halftime, coming from behind the third game in a row to win their Seventh National Championship.

I loved that team. I loved the team in 2003 and 2004 who ended up exiting the dance prematurely. Cliff Hawkins, Gerald Fitch, and Keith Bogans were a great team. Hard working team.

Kentucky looks (outside an upset of course, which could happen tonight) like they are primed to win their eight national championship. And though I would be happy if they won, and I would talk my usual trash, I am sure it will not mean as much to me as the '98 championship.

With that said, as long as I am a basketball fan I will pull for UK. I am True Blue no matter what it looks like. Even if they have a questionable coach, or players that went to only one class during their tenure, or have a Final Four taken away three years from now, or even never again make it to the tournament, I will still bleed Kentucky Blue. I guess that is what makes me a fan at the end of the day.

Gram's Baptism

Last Sunday, Susan and I drove up to Yorktown, VA to see her beloved grandmother, Evelyn Hall, get baptized. She is ninety years old with a certain amount of zeal and passion that would decidedly trick you into believing she was much younger. Susan calls her grandma, Gram, which was confusing at first, but I have come to know this lovely lady who keeps me on my toes with her clever remarks and sharp wit.

Susan and I were so blessed to hear that Ms. Evelyn (as I call her) was getting baptized. She felt it was the right thing to do to follow through with baptism in obedience to our good Lord and it encouraged us greatly to see such a conviction. To witness any baptism is wonderful but it was so special to this past Sunday.

In the same service we had the Lord’s Supper and all of it was beautiful to witness the powerful confession of the resurrection so clearly demonstrated. I hope one day if God were to bless me with ninety years of age I would have the same amount of zeal and passion (I am sure I will never have the same amount of wit) as Ms. Evelyn. More than anything I hope that everyday will be a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Here’s to Gram who encourages and blesses us in every way.

Fire Arcade

The most influential people in my life in regard to music are my sister and my brother. I remember when I was in sixth grade stealing the new The Offspring CD from Kent who had originally stolen it from Ashley. Kent introduced me to Nirvana and Bush which became formative to what I have listened to the past decade or more. I love Smashing Pumpkins, Live, and Our Lady Peace. My sister and my brother moved on from that stage, it feels like, but I kept it strong.

I like "harder stuff" acknowledging all things relative. I have always liked listening to music that pumped me up making me feel that I had to overcome something. I love Chevelle (another group my brother introduced to me) and Breaking Benjamin.

Dating Susan I have grown an appreciation and a liking for her stuff, which I feel like is basically my music unplugged with slightly more optimistic lyrics. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am getting older and more reflective. Maybe I am not angry. Maybe I am not imagining shooting the game winning goal anymore with "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in the background. But whatever it is I am enjoying more and more slower music. I hate to label it but to leave it to "slower music" is a bit too general. Arcade Fire (whom I called, Fire Arcade, until I bought the CD) is a good example of what I find myself enjoying more and more. So, is Sufjan Stevens and Modest Mouse. What I like about it is that it feels that I am in a movie. Most likely an independent movie because they usually have independent music. I like anything that feels like it is a song that could be played at the resolution of a movie. All the conflict has been resolved. The credits are about to roll and there is a sense of completion. I like that feeling and this music brings me there.

I wish I could speak more technically about music like my brother or brother-in-law. I get the benefit of it all being somewhat a mystery. I am always too late to discover anything. Arcade Fire has been out for a good while now and I am just now "discovering" them after someone recommended them and my sister confirmed the recommendation. My boy, Jamie, just recently told me about Sleeping At Last, who is blessing me more and more, but they too have been around for some time. So to those who have gems and want to share in their wealth of "conflict resolving music", please share.

I recommend the music video of Wake Up by Arcade Fire:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEKC5pyOKFU

The guy on the snare is my favorite! He looks like Napoleon Dynamite

I must add, as a recent development, my appreciation for rap. At this present moment I am not sure if I can give it a stronger word than “appreciation” but I must acknowledge this advancement and give credit to my boy, Matt Baker. Never before was anyone able to break down what is put into a rap song and show how artistic they truly are. Never thought I would see the day that I would confess such an appreciation.

Ode to NCAA Football 2006

I am in seminary. We don’t have cable and I have not played video games since I last hung out with my old roommate, Matty (Painter not Baker, though ironic that they both have professions for last names). Being in seminary I have no time but to read, go to school, and go to work. This blog is dedicated to that beautiful season of my life when all of life revolved around the amazing college football game, NCAA Football 2006.

My roommate Chad Langston had an Xbox and it all started where he and I would play occasional games against each other. Chad knows a lot about football. I know some but in comparison to Chad I know nothing. He would get irritated when I beat him because though I knew less then he did, I at least knew how to play video games and exploit the computer. Video games don’t require great info on the subject to be good at them. (I know nothing about being a marine or aliens but it didn’t stop me from dominating in Halo).

I had this other friend, Christopher Rogers (we called him “little big head” mostly because he was little and had a literal and figurative big head). He loved competition and loved competing against anyone and everyone. Chris could get beat in one-on-one basketball twenty games in a row and ask for another. He was good at NCAA Football, though. Probably the best among us. There was no one who could exploit the game better than he could.

Christopher saw us playing the video game one time and suggested that we make a Dynasty. We would each pick a one star program and build that program up. It was awesome. We (when I say we I mean mostly Chad the Purist) came up with rules for us to follow to be fair, such as “if a game is started no matter the outcome it has to be finished.” Christopher picked San Jose St., Chad went a little closer to home with Troy, and I picked the Owls of Florida Atlantic.

Then there was ole Matty. I think I should probably dedicate a whole blog to Matty. He would stay most hours in his room playing a serious computer game that was like another life in cyber space. In this game they had their own characters, own names, jobs, missions, characteristics, and what have you. There was even a way to make money in this game. Unbelievable. I caught Matty one time fishing on his video game so he could get some fish and sell them. He told me that he broke his fishing pole (on the computer game mind you) but not to worry (I wasn’t) because he was able to sell it back for about the same price he bought it for (I was relieved).

In the second season Chad convinced Matty to join us in the social event of playing college football. Matty picked Hawii. He acted like he didn’t care at first but my boy got into it yelling at the screen.

We were dedicated playing over five to six season that wonderful fall at Auburn. All of our players had names and we treated them either with great love or great contempt depending on how they performed for us. Players who had been with our programs all four years were pretty dear to us. I still remember Cameron Barclay, one of my first recruits who eventually blossomed into an incredible linebacker. Chad said he probably never made the NFL but was probably in a European League. Not cool. Chad accused Christopher and me of running dirty programs (video game mind you). That was probably true for Christopher who was under NCAA investigations.

The game consumed us. We would go to Subway and sit there talking about potential recruits and tough games coming up as if it were our profession. It got serious. I remember Chad came in my room with this horrible look on his face. I asked him what happened, to which he went into great detail that his starting running back broke a rib and would be out for several weeks. I was truly concerned and consoled him that his season would still be salvageable. In the end we were not too dissimilar from Matty with his video game fishing pole.

It was great though and I look back as that being some of the most fun I had at college. Great times with great friends talking great trash. FAU will always have a special place in my heart. Whenever I get with the guys we always talk about all of our experiences in college, playing volleyball until three, literal fights in our rooms, watching horrible movies that our other roommate Greg would pick out, though the funniest stories come out of our time playing NCAA Football 2006.

I am in a different season now and I am thankful. I would trade no season for the season I am in right now with my beautiful wife, Susan. It just makes me smile thinking of sitting in our living room with all the guys rooting against the guy who was playing at that very moment. This blog is dedicated to Chad, Little Big Head, and Matty and to the very game that united us to such an unbreakable bond. Here is to NCAA 2006. May you rest in peace.

Grace and Peace

I grew up hearing the Gospel message my whole life. It was a piece of knowledge that would allow me to fit in with the Christian culture I had been raised in. It’s not that I did not believe it but it was that I had not experienced it personally. I had heard that all I had to do was believe, but there were these other things I heard more that overshadowed the freedom of faith alone. These other things were works, or actions I had to perform to have the identity of Christian.

I tried really hard not to curse. I tried harder not to dislike my siblings. When I was younger I had told my sister I hated her to which she responded that I could not hate her and love Jesus. This seemed a serious thing. A thing I could not achieve. I was a liar. I was disobedient to my parents. I cheated on tests. No matter how hard I tried I could not be very good for very long. All of a sudden before I knew it Church did not have good news but only bad.

I could accept that there was a Higher Being. I knew Him to be God, and not one of many, but the Only. I knew Him to be good and to be powerful and the more I learned about Him the more terrified I was because I knew how bad I was in comparison. I knew there was something broken in me and I couldn’t heal myself. I knew good and bad and despite my very best efforts I chose bad all too often and good not enough. Because of this belief in a Higher Being I knew it was against Him that all my bad works were committed. This was all very bad for me that I just thought it best not to believe…

It was bad until it was revealed to me that that same Higher Being, who was called God, who was good and powerful, was the very One who became Man and died on a tree in order that I would not have to pay the penalty for the bad I had done. This is when I experienced the Gospel. It wasn’t just a piece of information anymore, but it was my very life. This crazy idea of the Resurrection from Death to Life made sense to me finally because I felt that He had done it within me. I felt peace for the first time. This peace came from the grace of God shown to a sinner who did not deserve anything good.

I still struggle and I still feel my brokenness, but God is slowly but surely making me more into His image of Holiness. He makes me whole. Works or actions are no longer my identity but the Gospel. It has consumed every part of me and from the overflow of His Grace and Peace, I am able to serve, love, and have hope in a real and sincere way.

Grace and Peace. This was a greeting exclusive to Christians in the Apostle Paul’s day. Grace was said for the work of God done in the believer and Peace was said for the effect that God’s work had on the believer. In essence it was the Good News that each believer lived. The Gospel was so prevalent and fresh that it was the very thing that was spoken upon their first encounter with another believer. I pray all can have that same Grace and Peace.

For more information visit: http://www.viewthestory.com/viewer/?c=1423

A Journey Three Weeks In

I have been married for a little over three weeks. I am no seasoned veteran on the subject by any stretch but it is always interesting to get a perspective from a guy still green thrown into the thick of it.

I don’t mean to use a war analogy with marriage. Marriage is awesome and very unlike war. At least this is my experience thus far.

Four weeks ago I had no category to put “marriage” in. Before this, marriage always seemed like a destination that I was trying to reach as if it would be the pinnacle, even the crux of my life. In many ways it has been one of the most defining events in my life. I know it will always be.

What I had found, however, when I had reached this “destination” is that we were not stopping. I found that marriage is not a destination at all but a journey. We are always moving and with that movement we are called to grow.

I am loving marriage and all the nuances that go with it. I love referring to Susan as my wife or “Mrs. Michael.” I love being referred by other people as “The Michaels.” I love cooking together while listening to music. I love playing with the ring that is on my finger. Gives me something to fiddle with and reminds me that I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

I love being able to go somewhere together and go home together. And then wake up together. I just love being together.

Though many things have changed I feel that nothing has been lost in the transition from single to married. If anything there has been more of an enhancement if you will, with one basic illustration being that my best friend became even better.

Marriage is beautiful. I hope this is a reflection of my marriage now, but I say it with confidence because it is true in spite of me; it is a mystery that represents the true beauty of Christ and His Beloved, the Church. This is an axiom, a fixed truth that challenges and gives hope that beauty can always be found despite the road we find ourselves on in whatever weather we journey.

Though marriage is not a place of destination it is a beautiful sign describing the place we do in fact want to go. I am happy to walk towards there now with my beloved enjoying the scenery along the way together.

Tree of Life

I was reading Genesis chapters one through three for my Old Testament class yesterday and I find myself more amazed that I can read something a thousand times and still find something new. The story of creation I had to learn in Spanish when I arrived in South America. I didn’t know any Spanish at the time and they were just sounds to me. Later as I learned Spanish the story eventually made sense to me. I learned it in Quechua as well, and in all of this translating, memorizing, growing up with it as a preacher's kid, I knew no other story better than this one. Yet, God still uses it to show me new things each time around.

The thing that stood out to me this time around was God put man in the garden and said he could eat of every tree except the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Everything else was fair game. I have no idea how long Adam and Eve enjoyed the divine bliss of perfection in the Garden of Eden before they messed up and ate of that tree but somehow they chose not to eat of the Tree of Life. Considering the only tree prohibited was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil I believe it safe to say that they could have eaten of this Tree of Life, but they chose not to. We have evidence that they never ate of this tree because God is recorded saying after the fall, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” It goes on to say that “God placed the Cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.”

What made the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil so appealing over the Tree of Life? Well, we see how the Serpent deceived the woman. He promises to the woman, “You will be like God.” It was then that the fruit became appealing to the woman. She wanted to become God instead of wanting to have Life.

The choice is the same to us. We have both options before us: to be our own god or to choose Christ who is Life.

Chesterton in his wonderful book, Orthodoxy, says, “Every act of will is an act of self-limitation. To desire action is to desire limitation. In that sense every act is self-sacrifice. When you choose anything, you reject everything else.”

We cannot choose to worship God and ourselves. By choosing one to worship we reject the other. Our choice reflects our true desire: to become like god or to have life. God commanded Adam and Eve not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil because He had something better to offer them. It is the same with us. He wants us to choose Him, to choose Life for that is far better than any other choice.

When Adam and Eve sinned it made our position before God hostile. Christ died to kill that hostility so that we could have Life. We see the resolution of the redemption of man when Christ opens up again the Tree of Life. In one of the most beautiful scenes painted in the Bible, John writes,

“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal flowing from the throne of God and of the Lmap brought the middle of the street of the city; also on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the helaing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship Him.”
- Revelation 22: 1-3

Good News

Many of you were with me from the beginning when I started working with the Quechua. Our first trip we went to a small village called Quchumi where we left because the whole town was drunk. We went back and were able to work a day with the mayor only to be asked to leave the next day because the people did not want us there. The second time in two days we were at the point of wiping the dust off our feet but before we left an elderly woman asked us to come back to work with her husband and she would cook us good food. This was enough hope to bring us back.

Many months later we returned with that promise though never to find that sweet elderly woman. We stayed in this small hut and worked with several different people in the community. Working like dogs those couple of weeks, we woke up every day not knowing if we were going to get food or work and even dreading the food and work we would receive. In the last week of that trip we met a man named, Celadonio, of whom we nicknamed “Don”. Ironically we had never met the owner of that small hut where we stayed and it turned out to be Don who became our “Man of Peace”.

The next trip my partner, Andrew, told the parable of the lost sheep to which Don said he felt like the lost sheep. It was clear to us that we had a place to start the work with a man who was interested in the stories. We came back months later to start the stories of the Bible and the two weeks we were there we face much spiritual warfare, losing Don’s confidence and almost losing our place to stay. We were at the point of wiping the dust off our feet but once again God gave us enough hope to continue on. We thought we had a different man to tell the stories of the Bible.

Returning for my last trip we thought we would do the stories with that different man of the community and just use Don for our place to stay and to work and to eat. That man never showed up much to our discouragement but Don asked if we could teach him the stories. It was all the Holy Spirit working in His heart. From that point on he had a burning desire to learn the stories of God’s redemption of man. We got to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, which was the last story I told (leaving on a high note, eh?) Then I left to come back to the states.

The work was continued through the most incredible men of God. My Colombian partner, Efrain, and Javier from Peru and Roberto from Argentina, also Jonathan from the states kept telling the stories getting to the death and resurrection of Christ. They have worked so very hard this year to see these people hear the Good News of Christ. Facing many a trial and tribulation they have not given up and it has been my greatest joy to hear of their work and sacrifice. God has blessed them as well. On this last trip the last story told was Pentecost to which Don said he wanted to get baptized! All to the praise and glory of our King!

There have been so many obstacles along the way including but not limited to being asked to leave on more than one occasion, having no food, no work, working too much, being in danger by the political climate, lack of funding, lack of interest, sickness, warring within and without; it has been a long road. I am thankful for every step because it bears His mark that only He could have done any of it. I left greeting this promise from afar, the promise that God was not done with Quchumi yet.

The Quechua culture in Quchumi is much like the pagan cultures back during the time of the New Testament where the gods were angry and had to be appeased. The Good News was that Christ had killed the hostility between man and God, and that man could be loved by God who is love. In the postmodern culture it is almost like we have to give bad news (that of our sinfulness before a Holy God) before the Gospel (dying to our sin so we can live in Him) can be Good News.

I share this Good News with everyone because everyone that has read this blog and prayed, God used to bring this man to His throne of grace. Thank you for your prayers. He is our joy and our salvation and He is doing a work above and beyond anything we could ever imagine. Christ is our Good News. In Him we have life and our joy and there is nothing else that satisfies. I praise Him for the miracle He is doing in Quchumi and with Don.

Please continue to pray for the work done there and pray for Efrain, Javier, and Roberto. None of this work could have been possible without the exceptional work from our bosses, Trent and Kay, with their vision and commitment to the Gospel being spread. God willing there will be more to be baptized on this following trip, more added to the Kingdom, and more to tell the Good News of Christ, our hope, our life, and our joy.

Praise God from whom on blessings flow, praise Him creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly host, praise Father, Son, and Holy, Ghost. Amen.

The Beard of Aaron

My promise in the last post was that I would write something masculine like killing a bear with my bare hands or what not. I can only say that if it happens in this post it will be only for metaphorical purposes. I did, however, have to drown two pigs on the Fourth of July in Bolivia last summer, but that is a different story.

This post has been in my mind for some time and though I had briefly touched on it in the post, “Savages” I wanted to unpack this a bit more. Speaking for guys here (though I am sure the connection is the same with women as well and “sisterhood” can be applied every time the word “brotherhood” is used) there is this need for camaraderie, for brotherhood. This brotherhood has usually been forged most inexorably through the fires of battle and conflict. Men have this almost unexplainable bond of unity because of trials and tribulations.

And though this bond is clearly seen in war it is something even more profound within the Body of Christ. There is still that forging of souls through the baptism of fire and tribulation, but because of the unity in Christ the saints have an eternal bond formed in the heavens. This brotherhood is necessary to our survival on this side of Heaven. Even Solomon who lacked not one thing said, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” The Christian life is not one to be lived alone. The men of Easy Company of the 101st Airborne during World War II found their greatest motivation to fight was to not let their fellow soldiers down. They fought to keep each other alive. How are we, who fight against the spiritual forces of evil, expected to survive without each other?

We must put into practice what the Teacher says: “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Psalm 133 says, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!” I thought this a funny text because of the imagery of Aaron, who must have had a significantly thick beard, drenched with copious amounts of oil. In the Old Testament, Moses had to pour oil on the priests, primarily Aaron, to sanctify and consecrate them for service. God has called us to sanctification, to become more like Him, and this says that dwelling in unity with our brothers helps sanctify us. We must grow which will only happen by being challenged and encouraged by those walking the same path to the same destination.

It is sad that it is such a rare thing to find. King Solomon found it a difficult thing as he says, “One man among a thousand I found.” Usually the greatest things are the rarest and need to be sought and fought for. I encourage those who bear the name of brother to seek that unity. I am most blessed with the greatest brothers and sisters in Christ who love me, and challenge me, and bring me all the closer to the throne of Christ. It is pleasant and good, like oil down the beard, down the beard of Aaron.

Falling Lines in Pleasant Places

People have asked me how I proposed to Susan and I thought I would follow up the last post with this one detailing that event. So here it is:

I had decided to ask this past Sunday because it was our 2 year 4 month anniversary/monthiversary and 2 year anniversary from the first time I told her I loved her. We were going to celebrate our anniversary so I figured I could make it on this day, make it special, and not be too obvious about my intentions (though she could see it coming a bit).

We went to Williamsburg, the beautiful historic colonial town, which is one of her favorite places. I had only been there once, so I didn't know the city very well and I was hoping to ask her in a special place. After we ate at a nice restaurant in Williamsburg we went walking and I started looking for a sign for the perfect location. Susan and I passed this nice garden of which she said, "This is my favorite garden of all time." Susan likes to use Hyperbole so I, like Gideon, was looking for at least one more sign for confirmation. Entering into the little white picketed fence area, Susan said, "I have thought about getting married here." Fiery writing on the wall couldn’t have been clearer. There was a tree that gave the garden its only shade, which was a blessed thing considering the heat was unbearable.

I had thought about everything, the nice note, Williamsburg, the nice meal, writing our story out on facebook, everything but the actual words I would say in that moment. I put my arms around her and started telling her how much I loved her and wanted to spend every day with her for the rest of my life and lingering I finally decided to get down on one knee and propose. I was so nervous I fiddled about with the ring and I think I had even attempted to put it on her right hand. She gave me a hug, while I was on one knee. There we were in this beautiful garden her down there with me in my proposed stance, the ring still in my hand, and it was better than I had imagined. Needing a confirmation, I asked, "so is that a yes?" to which she so fervently replied, "yes."

The garden was in a secluded area though I believe besides the angels in heaven we had one witness that was dressed up like a colonial man. He didn’t seem that excited.

We walked around a bit, though because of the heat punishing two British descendants with their cursed pale skin, we decided to leave and come back during the Fall to take pictures at a more congruous time. Later that night we celebrated with her family and it was a joyous feast and celebration.

Dates are still being considered but we are looking at sometime in the fall/winter. I realize this is vague but we only have a vague idea having to maneuver around work and school.

One of my favorite psalms is Psalm 16. Verse six says, “The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” I am not even sure in what context the psalmist writes or if this is the right interpretation but I have always imagined times like this as the perfect description of lines falling in pleasant places. Surprised with so much joy I can see the lines falling all around me in the pleasant places that surround me (That rhyme is dedicated to Matt Baker). With each step in this path of uncertainty in many areas of life, it is beautiful to see how God has ordered things. Looking back I see how He had marked out the journey from the beginning and in this season things seem to be coming together in a supernatural way that only He could design.

The last two posts have a been a bit on the estrogen side so the next post will be about killing bears with bare hands and what not.