Beside Still Waters

My partner and I just got back from a short trip from the major communities in the Chayanta Province. We needed to make good contacts and get some more information about the area before we headed out for months at a time.

The trip was absolutley amazing and I don´t have time or space here to tell how God just showed Himself over and over again. In Ravelo, the first community, we couldn´t find anyone that knew anyone from the church and pastor has left to go somewhere. It started off rough and I remember being so discouraged right from the beginning thinking we weren´t going to find anything or be able to visit all the communities on the list in the short allotted time we had. God was ready to prove me wrong.

We got on the next bus to get to the small community outside of Ravelo, and I sat there on the thiry minute praying hard to God that He would just move and we could see Him move. There was a nice guy on the bus that helped me with my bag (I had nowhere to put it). When we got off to this tiny village, the guy that helped got off too. I asked him if he knew if there was a church in this village and if there was could I talk with the pastor. It turned out that he was the pastor and we had such a great conversation and he helped us so much.

From that point I was able to have peace in His providence and for the rest of the trip things happened in such a way that I looked back and said, ¨That was Him,¨ whether it was receiving food from random farmers who couldn´t speak spanish when we didn´t have food as we were just walking by, or finding the only bus leaving a certain city to the very place we needed to go, but only because the woman at the little store brought it up randomly (or not so randomly), we felt His presence everywhere. Only in His timing and His way were we able to reach each community that was on the list in four days (we had 7 or 8 to do so), though couldn´t have done it if we needed one more day given that we didn´t bring enough money. When we got back home to Sucre we had less than 20 cents between the two of us.

I praise God because I know for a fact that He did everything, brought us to each and every place we needed to go, and met people on the road and every corner who were exactly the person we needed to talk to. At times as we had our backpacks and met other travelers I felt as if I was in The Pilgrim´s Progress and each person, each city, each experience we grew in Him, in His presence, as well as His pleasure. He lead us every step of the way, and in His peace we were always beside still waters.

I didn´t take a bath for four days, and if this was fifteen years ago I would have been really proud of that. I was happy to get a hot shower this time around though.

¨He leads me beside still waters.¨
- Psalms 23:2

Moments of Silence

I can honestly say that one of my biggest vices and biggest weaknesses is impatience. I am sure anyone can confirm this with any of my friends or family. When I ran track the worst thing about a track meet was the time I had to wait before my race. I would sit there on the bleachers watching everyone else do their event, sitting in the unbearable sun, listening to my CD player, trying not to think of the four hours before my race. It would never fail and my nerves would start to get to me and I would get restless. I was already so nervous for the race to sit there and have all the time in the world before my event was the worst. I could not enjoy a meet until my event was over. I remember being so unbearable. By the time my race came about I was so worked up that I was mentally shot because I had wasted so much energy being impatient. Sometimes I feel I am in that state now...impatiently waiting for my race.

Patience is defined in the dictionary as ¨the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.¨ Also, ¨an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.¨ 1

I never saw this impatience as a serious evil…until recently. There has been much delay since I have gotten out of training. I had touched briefly on this in my other post, ¨Walking in the Wilderness.¨ I find myself still there, still complaining. I have been able to see my impatience, my attitude towards the situation as fervor or a strong passionate desire to do ¨what¨ I came here to do. The Father has been showing me something different, which I would like to think recently but know He has been trying to tell me for sometime.

The evil of impatience I have found breeds many more vices. It is a mother vice. In my impatience, in my complaints that my present circumstance are somehow not satisfactory, that God is not ¨using¨ me, I have found my self doubting, fearing, and questioning the Will of God. It is as if He is not enough in all circumstances. Who am I to not bear annoyance, irritation, or the like when confronted with delay? Our Lord Jesus waited 30 years before starting His ministry and I am sure during that time ¨grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God…¨ (Luke 2:52)

In Hebrew, I believe (correct me if I am wrong) the word for wait is the same word for hope. Or at the very least is interchangeable in the translation to English. I find this to be so beautiful. In waiting on God we are hoping for what is to come. By being impatient I have shown my lack of trust and faith. But I am ready to hope. I am ready to be patient and allow Him to speak to me and enjoy His presence.

In struggling in this matter, my boss made an incredible analogy. Though I know almost nothing about music, he explained this situation like a piece played on a piano. That the audience hears beautiful melodies and walks away remembering the main parts, the climaxes of the piece. But, he said, it is the moments of silence that no one notices but are most essential in setting up the parts that are the most memorable. It is a preparation, a climatic anticipation that truly creates something so beautiful.

I can remember so many times in my life periods of waiting on the next thing and being impatient in the process. I am still learning this, and maybe this is what I have to learn before I can start racing again. But I can also tell you that these ¨moments of silence¨ were always precursors to God doing an amazing work in my life. I cannot begin to grasp to what God is up to now with all this waiting, all this silence. But I wait and I hope and in this, in Him I can have joy and trust His timing. I will be thankful for this moment of silence for I know that something beautiful will proceed.

1. Dictionary - http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/patience