Go For It

This day three years ago I went for it. A girl who did not really didn't notice me for the whole month and a half of our exhaustive knowledge of each other. I had made attempts, some very lame attempts, at getting to know her but only in that uncommitted way that is much like a middle schooler hitting a girl whom he likes.

Nothing worked. I tried several ploys that I found out later only backfired. It was all or nothing. I even had a verse in preparation for my expected rejection. "The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand." (Ps. 37:23, 24) I knew I could fall; I was just hoping I wouldn't be cast headlong. Sounds awful.

And so with little to no encouragement; with almost no hope whatsoever I put myself out there. By that time it was win-win. I wouldn't have to always wonder "what if?"

And now she is my wife.

I think the problem with many of the guys in the Church today (I count myself one of these before I finally put myself out there three years ago today) is that they befriend many girls, have many deep conversations, but never, ever put themselves in such a vulnerable position as to allow the girl to know their true intentions. And if they have no intentions then they should leave the girl alone. There has been many a trail of tears following guys with vague motives and ambiguous actions that are inconsistent and don't correspond with their words.

Telling Susan I was crazy about her seemed counter intuitive and foolish. But now, looking back three years after the fact, I could not imagine my life if I had not told her how I felt. I am thankful that I was not cast headlong and even more so that she gave me a chance.

Therefore, I tell all you guys who sit on the proverbially fence, "go for it." I am not saying it will necessarily work out. It very well might not work out. I am just saying be honest. At least you will know. And she will too. And you never know what could happen from there.

True Blue

I write this before the UK/Cornell game because an upset would make this post look silly.

There is nothing in sports more glorious than NCAA Tournament. Nothing. Even when the unthinkable happened (University of Kentucky not making the Big Dance) last year I still was fired up filling out my bracket, letting me emotions ride the roller coaster of the tournament with all its upsets, close victories, and close defeats. In my opinion the NCAA Tournament is a great example of what we label the "American Dream" (which would make the BCS the American Reality), where the underdog has a chance at greatness. This is the reason why most of the country pulls for the upset. America loves the underdog.

This makes rooting for UK difficult. The Cats are usually not the underdog in basketball (mostly because they play in the SEC). It makes it worse now that Kentucky's starting five is comprised mostly of NBA bound players who will not stay for more than a year. Don't get me wrong, I love watching these guys. John Wall is exciting, Cousins is a beast, and Bledsoe can hit the three (eight in a row the other day). They have brought success back to Lexington.

I have heard much criticism from those less fortunate who do not have quite the tradition UK enjoys. I must include, however, that the criticism has come from fans who pull for teams that have had their own fair share of "one and dones" (UNC and Duke, two other traditionally powerful teams). At the same time I confess that much of their criticism is not undeserved. There is something about the "one and dones" concept that I don't like. I understand it to some degree but it still doesn't feel as good as a team full of Seniors and Juniors who have been dedicated over the years and now seeing the fruit of their labor.

I remember back in '98 when Jeff Shepherd, Wayne Turner, and Scott Padgett were the main players for the Blue. I believe they were a 2 seed that year, and though still a high seed definitely not the favorite to win it all. They get to the regional final against Duke (their arch nemesis outside of the Commonwealth, and really based on one game) and find themselves down by seventeen points with seven minutes left to go. It was Tubby Smith's first season to coach and he beautifully outmaneuvered Coach K of Duke by not calling a time out for a run that lasted five minutes long. UK miraculously come back to win that game. In the Final Four they came back from behind to beat Stanford in Overtime, and then against Utah in the Final, down by ten at halftime, coming from behind the third game in a row to win their Seventh National Championship.

I loved that team. I loved the team in 2003 and 2004 who ended up exiting the dance prematurely. Cliff Hawkins, Gerald Fitch, and Keith Bogans were a great team. Hard working team.

Kentucky looks (outside an upset of course, which could happen tonight) like they are primed to win their eight national championship. And though I would be happy if they won, and I would talk my usual trash, I am sure it will not mean as much to me as the '98 championship.

With that said, as long as I am a basketball fan I will pull for UK. I am True Blue no matter what it looks like. Even if they have a questionable coach, or players that went to only one class during their tenure, or have a Final Four taken away three years from now, or even never again make it to the tournament, I will still bleed Kentucky Blue. I guess that is what makes me a fan at the end of the day.

Gram's Baptism

Last Sunday, Susan and I drove up to Yorktown, VA to see her beloved grandmother, Evelyn Hall, get baptized. She is ninety years old with a certain amount of zeal and passion that would decidedly trick you into believing she was much younger. Susan calls her grandma, Gram, which was confusing at first, but I have come to know this lovely lady who keeps me on my toes with her clever remarks and sharp wit.

Susan and I were so blessed to hear that Ms. Evelyn (as I call her) was getting baptized. She felt it was the right thing to do to follow through with baptism in obedience to our good Lord and it encouraged us greatly to see such a conviction. To witness any baptism is wonderful but it was so special to this past Sunday.

In the same service we had the Lord’s Supper and all of it was beautiful to witness the powerful confession of the resurrection so clearly demonstrated. I hope one day if God were to bless me with ninety years of age I would have the same amount of zeal and passion (I am sure I will never have the same amount of wit) as Ms. Evelyn. More than anything I hope that everyday will be a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Here’s to Gram who encourages and blesses us in every way.

Fire Arcade

The most influential people in my life in regard to music are my sister and my brother. I remember when I was in sixth grade stealing the new The Offspring CD from Kent who had originally stolen it from Ashley. Kent introduced me to Nirvana and Bush which became formative to what I have listened to the past decade or more. I love Smashing Pumpkins, Live, and Our Lady Peace. My sister and my brother moved on from that stage, it feels like, but I kept it strong.

I like "harder stuff" acknowledging all things relative. I have always liked listening to music that pumped me up making me feel that I had to overcome something. I love Chevelle (another group my brother introduced to me) and Breaking Benjamin.

Dating Susan I have grown an appreciation and a liking for her stuff, which I feel like is basically my music unplugged with slightly more optimistic lyrics. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am getting older and more reflective. Maybe I am not angry. Maybe I am not imagining shooting the game winning goal anymore with "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in the background. But whatever it is I am enjoying more and more slower music. I hate to label it but to leave it to "slower music" is a bit too general. Arcade Fire (whom I called, Fire Arcade, until I bought the CD) is a good example of what I find myself enjoying more and more. So, is Sufjan Stevens and Modest Mouse. What I like about it is that it feels that I am in a movie. Most likely an independent movie because they usually have independent music. I like anything that feels like it is a song that could be played at the resolution of a movie. All the conflict has been resolved. The credits are about to roll and there is a sense of completion. I like that feeling and this music brings me there.

I wish I could speak more technically about music like my brother or brother-in-law. I get the benefit of it all being somewhat a mystery. I am always too late to discover anything. Arcade Fire has been out for a good while now and I am just now "discovering" them after someone recommended them and my sister confirmed the recommendation. My boy, Jamie, just recently told me about Sleeping At Last, who is blessing me more and more, but they too have been around for some time. So to those who have gems and want to share in their wealth of "conflict resolving music", please share.

I recommend the music video of Wake Up by Arcade Fire:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEKC5pyOKFU

The guy on the snare is my favorite! He looks like Napoleon Dynamite

I must add, as a recent development, my appreciation for rap. At this present moment I am not sure if I can give it a stronger word than “appreciation” but I must acknowledge this advancement and give credit to my boy, Matt Baker. Never before was anyone able to break down what is put into a rap song and show how artistic they truly are. Never thought I would see the day that I would confess such an appreciation.

Ode to NCAA Football 2006

I am in seminary. We don’t have cable and I have not played video games since I last hung out with my old roommate, Matty (Painter not Baker, though ironic that they both have professions for last names). Being in seminary I have no time but to read, go to school, and go to work. This blog is dedicated to that beautiful season of my life when all of life revolved around the amazing college football game, NCAA Football 2006.

My roommate Chad Langston had an Xbox and it all started where he and I would play occasional games against each other. Chad knows a lot about football. I know some but in comparison to Chad I know nothing. He would get irritated when I beat him because though I knew less then he did, I at least knew how to play video games and exploit the computer. Video games don’t require great info on the subject to be good at them. (I know nothing about being a marine or aliens but it didn’t stop me from dominating in Halo).

I had this other friend, Christopher Rogers (we called him “little big head” mostly because he was little and had a literal and figurative big head). He loved competition and loved competing against anyone and everyone. Chris could get beat in one-on-one basketball twenty games in a row and ask for another. He was good at NCAA Football, though. Probably the best among us. There was no one who could exploit the game better than he could.

Christopher saw us playing the video game one time and suggested that we make a Dynasty. We would each pick a one star program and build that program up. It was awesome. We (when I say we I mean mostly Chad the Purist) came up with rules for us to follow to be fair, such as “if a game is started no matter the outcome it has to be finished.” Christopher picked San Jose St., Chad went a little closer to home with Troy, and I picked the Owls of Florida Atlantic.

Then there was ole Matty. I think I should probably dedicate a whole blog to Matty. He would stay most hours in his room playing a serious computer game that was like another life in cyber space. In this game they had their own characters, own names, jobs, missions, characteristics, and what have you. There was even a way to make money in this game. Unbelievable. I caught Matty one time fishing on his video game so he could get some fish and sell them. He told me that he broke his fishing pole (on the computer game mind you) but not to worry (I wasn’t) because he was able to sell it back for about the same price he bought it for (I was relieved).

In the second season Chad convinced Matty to join us in the social event of playing college football. Matty picked Hawii. He acted like he didn’t care at first but my boy got into it yelling at the screen.

We were dedicated playing over five to six season that wonderful fall at Auburn. All of our players had names and we treated them either with great love or great contempt depending on how they performed for us. Players who had been with our programs all four years were pretty dear to us. I still remember Cameron Barclay, one of my first recruits who eventually blossomed into an incredible linebacker. Chad said he probably never made the NFL but was probably in a European League. Not cool. Chad accused Christopher and me of running dirty programs (video game mind you). That was probably true for Christopher who was under NCAA investigations.

The game consumed us. We would go to Subway and sit there talking about potential recruits and tough games coming up as if it were our profession. It got serious. I remember Chad came in my room with this horrible look on his face. I asked him what happened, to which he went into great detail that his starting running back broke a rib and would be out for several weeks. I was truly concerned and consoled him that his season would still be salvageable. In the end we were not too dissimilar from Matty with his video game fishing pole.

It was great though and I look back as that being some of the most fun I had at college. Great times with great friends talking great trash. FAU will always have a special place in my heart. Whenever I get with the guys we always talk about all of our experiences in college, playing volleyball until three, literal fights in our rooms, watching horrible movies that our other roommate Greg would pick out, though the funniest stories come out of our time playing NCAA Football 2006.

I am in a different season now and I am thankful. I would trade no season for the season I am in right now with my beautiful wife, Susan. It just makes me smile thinking of sitting in our living room with all the guys rooting against the guy who was playing at that very moment. This blog is dedicated to Chad, Little Big Head, and Matty and to the very game that united us to such an unbreakable bond. Here is to NCAA 2006. May you rest in peace.